The Class Of, Ranked.
Cohorts of the AI industry, ranked by the numbers, tiebroken by the footnotes. The methodology is published. The methodology is also, on occasion, a joke.
The Class of '26, Ranked · Issue №3 · 16 June 2026
Read in Issue №3 →By stated valuation · tiebreak by S-1 status · n=8
| # | Subject | Valuation | Tiebreak |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | SpaceX (+xAI)the trillion-dollar tinkerer · S-1 public, 20 May '26 | $1.77tn at $135, fixed | $4.94bn net loss; founder keeps 82%+ of the vote |
| 2 | Anthropicthe quiet filer · S-1 confidential, 1 Jun '26 | $965bn post; ~$1tn target | revenue undisclosed |
| 3 | OpenAIthe present-perfect filer · S-1 confidential, 8 Jun '26 | "north of $100bn" | inference gross margin ≈ 33% |
| 4 | DatabricksCap'n Q3-of-Whenever · still private; talking | $165–175bn (Jun '26 talk) | four "next years" since 2022 |
| 5 | Andurilthe deferred patriot · still private; Series H Feb '26 | $61bn post | customers all wear the same uniform |
| 6 | Scale AIthe partial exit · 49% sold to Meta, Jun '25 | ~$29bn implied | founder now wears two name tags |
| 7 | Groqthe inference upstart · still private | $6bn post | 2025 revenue forecast cut from $2bn+ to $500m |
| 8 | Hugging Facethe dormant unicorn · last raise Aug '23 | $4.5bn | nothing has happened in thirty-four months |
Already Out: Cerebras · the wafer-scale punter · Nasdaq: CBRS · IPO reportedly priced 14 May 2026 at $56.4bn, raising $5.55bn — per Forge Global; not yet confirmed by Reuters at filing. The corkboard has been holding a yellow string for the position for three weeks. We should, eventually, like to take it down.
The Class of '15, Ranked · Issue №2 · 2 June 2026
Read in Issue №2 →By career stops · tiebreak by severance · n=8
| # | Subject | Stops | Tiebreak |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Andrej Karpathythe boomerang autodidact · OpenAI → Tesla → OpenAI → Eureka → Anthropic | 5 | recruited by Musk in person |
| 2 | John SchulmanCap'n Three-Lab · OpenAI → Anthropic → Thinking Machines | 3 | currently still there |
| 3 | Noam ShazeerCap'n Boomerang · Google → Character.AI → Google (price: $2.7bn) | 3 | personal cut: ~$1bn |
| 4 | Barret Zophthe same-day rehire · OpenAI → Thinking Machines → OpenAI | 3 | interval: 0 days |
| 5 | Tim BrooksGoogle → OpenAI (Sora) → Google DeepMind | 3 | title: "world simulators" |
| 6 | Jan Leikethe thirteen-day safety convert · OpenAI → Anthropic | 2 | interval: 13 days |
| 7 | Mira Muratithe founder-in-residence · OpenAI → Thinking Machines | 2 | $12bn pre-product |
| 8 | Ross NordeenxAI → Anthropic | 2 | founding xAI employee; departed 2026 |
Subject at rank 4 was reportedly dismissed by Thinking Machines for "unethical conduct" on 14 January 2026 and rehired by OpenAI before close of business. The Golden Boomerang, Issue №2, is his — see Awards.