Awards.
Bestowed fortnightly, by acclamation of the editors, on the industry's most deserving. Recipients are not consulted. Trophies are not physical. Citations are permanent.
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№ 3.01 · Issue №3 · 16 June 2026 · inaugural
OpenAI
For the most committed-uncommitted filing of the fortnight: a confidential S-1, filed 8 June and announced openly, accompanied by the statement "we have not decided on timing yet." The filing both exists and does not exist until the market observes it.
From Issue №3 → -
№ 3.03 · Issue №3 · 16 June 2026 · retained
SpaceX (+xAI)
Awarded, by acclamation, for the third consecutive issue. A $1.77 trillion ask — $135 a share, fixed, no range — on $18.67bn of revenue and a $4.94bn net loss, with more than 82% of the vote retained by the founder. The premium is, mathematically, the entire premium.
From Issue №3 → -
№ 3.05 · Issue №3 · 16 June 2026 · rosette
Anduril
The Most-Likely-To-Time-It-For-After-The-Mid-Terms rosette. $61bn post-money, $2.2bn of revenue, customers who all wear the same uniform, and a filing that will arrive — Compute! understands — at the politically optimal moment, and not one fortnight sooner.
From Issue №3 → -
№ 2.01 · Issue №2 · 2 June 2026 · inaugural · standing
Barret Zoph
A standing award for fastest exit-to-rehire. Dismissed by Thinking Machines Lab for reported "unethical conduct" on 14 January 2026; observed at his former OpenAI desk before close of business. Interval: zero days. The mode of a sample including a zero is, for the purposes of this magazine, zero.
From Issue №2 →